The Ol’ Man. I had his approval as long as I was doing what he wanted me to do. So, for most of my life I had his disapproval.
He never approved of me quitting my secure, high-paying job to starve in the arts. I agreed with him that quitting was a stupid move financially. But emotionally, quitting was a wise move.
Stress can lead to illness. I was stressed dragging my ass to work every day to a job I hated. I saw others, who hated their jobs, get sick a lot. Who knows how bad my health would have been if I had stayed?
I tried to explain to Dad that my health was more important than working for money at a job I hated. He did not understand. To him, money was more important than my feelings and my health.
“You should have stayed,” he said, “and retired with a pension.”
“But it was killing me going to work,” I said. “I hated it.”
“I know,” he said, “but you could have stayed. You didn’t have to quit.”
So Daddy, on this Father’s Day 14 years after your death, do you still think that money is more important than health? Has death changed your attitude about me? Do you still disapprove of what I am doing? Because no matter how old I get, I will always be that little boy looking for his daddy’s approval.