“Why did the dog cross the road?”

“Why?”

“To attend The Fire Hydrant Film Festival playing at the Raise-Your-Hind-Leg Theatre on the other side.”

*

After the film festival, the dog walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”

And the dog said nothing because dogs can’t talk.  So the bartender showed the dog the door.

*

“How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?”

“How many?”

“Mississippi River.”

“Is this one of those surrealist jokes?”

“Salvador says, ‘Yes.’  Dali says, ‘No.’ “

*

*

“Knock.  Knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Ruff!”

“Ruff who?”

“Ruff!  Ruff!”

“Are you a dog?”

“I think so.”

“Why didn’t you answer the bartender in the second joke?”

“I just learned how to talk a few seconds ago.”

“Amazing!”

“Mind if I leave now to go back to the bar?”

“Enjoy!”

*

“What is the difference between a dog and God?”

“What?”

“You don’t have to walk God.”

*

“How come you never see any purple dogs?”

“I dunno.”

“Because melting clocks can’t mate.”

“You love surrealist jokes.”

“Salvador says, ‘Yes.’  Dali says, “No.’ “

*

A dog walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Do I have to kick you out again?”

“No,” said the dog.

“You can talk?”

“Yes,” said the dog.

“What would you like?”

And the dog said, “I’d like some chicken bones, please.”

“Sure,” said the bartender.  “But to get them I have to cross the road.”

*

Pavlov, a dog who is a scientist, was researching the horizon.  Pavlov discovered that The End was never near, but happens soon enough.