“Why did the cat cross the road?”
“Why?”
“Because it felt like it.”
*
A cat walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”
And the cat said, “You may pleasure yourself by petting me.”
“What?” said the bartender.
“You may pet me.”
“You think that you’re doing me a favor by coming in here and telling me to pet you?”
“Yes,” said the cat.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” said the bartender, “but I’m not interested in petting you. You either order something or leave.”
“Okay,” said the cat. “May I have a furball, please? I want to see what one tastes like that comes from the outside.”
*
“How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“Nine. One to change the bulb and the other 8 to watch, lick themselves and then nap.”
*
What is the difference between a cat and a self-centered egotist?”
“What?”
“A cat can’t talk.”
*
