Spiders

 

“Why did the spider cross the road?”

“Why?”

“It saw a pair of pants on the other side.”

“Yeah?  So?”

“So, it wanted the fly.”

*

“How many spiders does it take to change eight light bulbs?”

“How many?”

“Just one.”

*

A spider walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”

And the spider said, “I’ll have a Bee’s Knees, please.”

“Of course!” said the bartender.  “I should have known.”

*

“What do you call a spider with no head, no body, and no legs?”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

*

“What do you call a spider’s fear of people?”

“Humanophobia?”

“No, it’s a trick question.  There is no word.  A spider has never gone to a psychiatrist because it feared people.”

*

“Knock.  Knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Spy.”

“Spy who?”

“Spy here.  Spy dare.  Spies everywhere.”

*

“What does a spider have in common with a Sasquatch?”

“What?”

“Both start with an s.”

*

“What does a spider have in common with a salmon?”

“Both start with an s.”

“Yes, and what else?”

“I dunno.”

“Both have never used a computer.”

*

The spider finished the Bee’s Knees and the bartender asked, “Would you like anything else?”

“No thanks,” said the spider.  “I have to get going or else I’ll be late for my computer course.”

So the spider paid its bill and left, but it was still late for the computer course.

*

“Why was the spider late for the computer course?”

“Both start with an s ?”

“No, you’re mixing up your jokes.”

“I dunno.  Why was the spider late for the computer course?”

“After leaving the bar, the spider got delayed trying to catch a fly in a pair of pants across the street.”

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I am Minnie and Chic's son.

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