“Why did the monkey cross the road?”


“To evolve on the other side.”


“How many monkeys does it take to change a banana?”

“I dunno.”

“None.  Bananas don’t burn out.”



A monkey walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Let me guess.  You want a Banana Daiquiri.”

“No thanks,” said the monkey.

“What would you like?” asked the bartender.

“Nothing,” said the monkey.  “I don’t drink.”

“If you don’t drink, then why did you come here?”

And the monkey said, “That funny bone guy made me do it.  He thought he could create a joke about a monkey walking into a bar.”

“What are you going to do?” asked the bartender.  “You can’t just sit here.”

“I don’t know,” said the monkey.  “I could cross the road, but I don’t feel like evolving just yet.”

And the bartender said, “Why don’t you leave this bar and go knock on someone’s door?”

“That’s a great idea!” said the monkey.  “Thanks!”


“Knock.  Knock.”

“Who’s there?”


“Monkey who?”

“Monkey’s uncle.”

“I’ll be a monkey’s uncle that there is a monkey’s uncle knocking at my door!”

“Aren’t you gonna let me in?”

“Sorry, this is as far as the joke goes.”



“What are you doing back here?” asked the bartender.

And the monkey said, “I knocked on someone’s door, but he wouldn’t let me in.”

“That’s too bad,” said the bartender.  “Are you sure you don’t want a drink?”

“No, thanks,” said the monkey.  “I don’t know how to drive, but if I suddenly did know, thanks to fiction magic, then I wouldn’t want to be drunk.”

“You’re welcome to sit here,” said the bartender.  “Perhaps while you are here that funny bone guy will come up with a joke about a monkey walking into a bar.”

“That could take that funny bone guy a long time,” said the monkey.  “I think I’ll leave and find a picture to relax in.”

The monkey left the bar which relieved that funny bone guy.  He did not have to invent a joke about a monkey walking into a bar.



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I am Minnie and Chic's son.

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