Light Bulbs


“Why did the light bulb cross the road?”


“To give someone an idea on the other side.”

“Why did the light bulb cross back?”

“I dunno.”

“The person rejected the idea.”


A light bulb walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”

And the light bulb said, “I’ll have a Thomas Edison, please.”

“Thomas Edison?” said the bartender.  “I have never heard of that drink.”

And the light bulb said, “That’s because it has not yet been invented.”


“How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?”

“How many?”

“Four.  One to change the light bulb.  One to provide light so the first one can see to change the light bulb.  One to train the new light bulb on how to shine.  And one to provide support and grief counseling to the family of the burnt-out bulb.”


“Why don’t light bulbs wear sunglasses?”


“They have no eyes.”


Three Philosophical Questions:

1 – How do you change light bulbs when they do not wear diapers?

2 – What image appears when a light bulb gets an idea?

3 – What is the Meaning of Light?


“Knock.  Knock.”

“Who’s there?”


“Light who?”

“Light bulb.”

“Sorry, this is a weight-loss clinic.  We only accept heavy bulbs.”


“What’s the difference between a light bulb and a scale in a clinic for skinny people?”


“One lights the way, and the other weighs the light.”


Meanwhile back at the bar . . . 

“I can’t get you a drink that hasn’t been invented,” said the bartender.  “What would you like?”

And the light bulb said, “I would like a book about what happens after we burn out.”

“I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but we don’t sell books here.”

“That’s okay,” said the light bulb. “I can’t read.”

“So what can I get you?” said the bartender.

“I’ll have an I.Q., please.”

“An I.Q.?” asked the bartender.

“Yes,” said the light bulb.  “I want to be brighter.”

“I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but we don’t have I.Q.’s here.  Can you not ask for something practical?”

“Okay,” said the light bulb.  “How about an end to this nonsense?”

“Sounds good to me,” said the bartender.

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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.