Things I Plan To Do:

           – Replace my chemical weapons with candy

           – Lose a lottery ( May have done this already)

           – Dish my washes

           – Decorate my pile of dirty laundry

           – Bake some cookies since I am so good eating

           – Lose weight by wearing fewer clothes

           – Go to a movie about watching movies

           – Celebrate being celibate or at least pretend that I am happy not getting any

           – Invent a new way to make popcorn by using a pencil, a headlight, and a donkey

           – Learn to talk with my mouth full

           – Organize the chaos in my life so I don’t know what I am doing

           – Learn how to use used paint rollers to forecast the weather

and finally,

           – Dress up in blackface, go to a party, and then spend the rest of my life apologizing to Justin Trudeau.