“How can you tell whether the color red is blushing?”

“I dunno.”

“It smells embarrassed.”

*

“What is the difference between a glove and a pizza?”

“Oh, oh, I know this one.  You can’t eat a glove.”

“Yes, you’re right.  How did you know?”

“From experience.”

*

“What time is it?”

“It is now.”

“But that was then.  What time is it now?”

“Now.  It is now.”

“But that was then.  You answered then.  It was now then.  What time is it now?”

“It is 8 inches past chocolate cake.”

“Thanks.”

*

“What is a wrinkle?”

“What?”

“A wrinkle is an unsophisticated crease.”

*

“When bells get engaged, do they give each other rings?”

“Yes.”

“How can this be?  They don’t have fingers.”

“That does not matter.  It is not snowing.”

“Ohhh, that explains it.”

*

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“I dunno.”

“To get hit by a car.”

“Why would a chicken want to get hit by a car?”

“Because it is afraid of the other side.”

*

“What is the difference between the truth and a lie?”

“Oh, oh, I know this one.  You can’t eat a glove.”

“Yes, you’re right.  How did you know?”

“I used to be a politician.”

*

“What would you do if you won the lottery?”

“I would donate my brain to enemy scientists.”

“Why?”

“To set their science back 50 years.”

“What about the rest of the money?”

“I would use the rest of the money to pay for the chicken’s funeral.”

*

“What is the best way to handle climate change?”

“Oh, oh, I know this one.  The best way to handle climate change is to convert it into paper money.”

“Wow, you’re right again.  How did you know?”

“From watching bells eating pizza during a storm.”

*

“Is it still 8 inches past chocolate cake?”

“No, it is The End.”