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“Why did Goodness and Mercy cross the road?”
“Why?”
“They were following a holy chicken.”
*
“Why did the holy chicken cross the road?”
“I dunno.”
“It was looking for green pastures and still waters.”
*
Goodness and Mercy walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”
And Goodness said, “Mercy and I will have some holy water, please.”
“I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but we don’t have holy water here.”
“Okay,” said Goodness. “Give us both a beer, but don’t tell anyone.”
The bartender brought both Goodness and Mercy a beer. They drank up and ordered another, and another, and another.
“Okay,” said Goodness to Mercy, “that’s enough. Let’s return to following people.”
As Goodness and Mercy paid, the bartender said, “Thanks, you have restored my soul.”
*
“Knock. Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Goodness and Mercy.”
“Goodness and Mercy who?”
“Just Goodness and Mercy. Can we use your washroom? We drank too much beer.”
*
“Did the holy chicken find green pastures and still waters?”
“No, but it found a McDonald’s in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.”
*
“What did the holy chicken do after leaving McDonald’s?”
“It prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies. I sat down and broke bread with my enemies, and we started to discuss reaching a peaceful agreement. But the holy chicken suddenly dumped oil over my enemies’ heads and ran away. I had a helluva time trying to convince my enemies that I did not put the chicken up to it.”
“Why would the holy chicken do that?”
“Who knows? Something it ate at McDonald’s?”
*
BREAKING NEWS:
HOLY CHICKEN’S CUP RUNNETH OVER EVERYTHING!
Police are the lookout for a holy chicken that used a motorized cup to run over anything in its path. Police estimate the damage at 2 million and forty-seven dollars and 53 cents. They believe the holy chicken may be heading to Old MacDonald’s farm. Eee eye eee eye oh.
*
“What caused the holy chicken to become so violent?” asked Goodness.
“It went beserk after eating at the McDonald’s in the Valley of the Shadow of Death,” said Mercy. “It ordered Chicken McNuggets.”
