“Did you watch The Oscars?” asked a friend.

“No,” I said.

“Why not?”

“Because I am pissed off at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.”

“Why?  Because Hollywood is not reflecting reality with lack of women and minority nominations?”

“No, that has nothing to do with it.  Besides, since when does Hollywood reflect reality?”

“So why are you pissed off at the Academy?”

“I was expecting a nomination and did not get it.”

“For what?”

“For Best Bonehead in a Closet Full of Skeletons.”

“There is no such category.”

“Really?”

“No, there isn’t.”

“Hmm . . . Maybe that’s why I didn’t get nominated.”