A scene from the 1931 film “Frankenstein” directed by James Whale
Here are 13 things Maria, the little girl playing by the lake, could have said to Frankenstein:
“No, Mister, I’d rather play with my dolls than with electricity.”
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“Yes, I have only one personality. It is your multiple body parts that cause your multiple personalities.”
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“Mister, it is not polite for you to ask me to touch your neck bolts.”
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“My mommy has made muffins with cannabis, but never with electrodes.”
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“Is ‘Grraaah’ the only word you know?”
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“No, all I have are these flowers. I don’t have any weed. Try Old MacDonald. He has a farm on Eee Eye Eee Eye Road.”
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“Are you sure that there is nothing wrong with you? Green is not a natural skin color.”
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“Sorry, I don’t have any spare change.”
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“Yes, I believe in monsters. Some of my best friends are Members of Parliament.”
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“Yes, I come here often, and I am a Scorpio. What about you? What’s your sign? Virgin?”
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“What? Did aliens abduct you? Did your abduction cause the aliens to suffer from PTSD?”
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“You have a Ph.D. in Horror? What jobs can you get with that?”
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“You’re made of various body parts? Gosh, what a challenge for you to write your autobiography.”
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