Once upon a time there was a virus. And it killed everybody.
This tragedy made the doom-and-gloom media happy. And they rejoiced, and rejoiced and rejoiced!
And then doom-and-gloom media realized that there was no one left to scare. What despair.
Their despair only lasted a bit before the doom-and-gloom media realized that they could report on how there was no one left to scare. And so they did.
But the doom-and-gloom media reporting on how there was no one left to scare did not last long. From a galaxy far far away, came two-and-a-half giant kumquats. The giant kumquats ate the planet Earth. Not only did this put an end to the doom-and-gloom media, but it also put an end to climate change.
After their Earth meal, the two-and-a-half giant kumquats returned to their planet in a galaxy far far away. They did not know that they carried the virus that had killed everyone on Earth.
Soon, kumquats started dying from a killer virus. The kumquat media, on that planet in a galaxy far far away, rejoiced.
THE END
