Not All About Albert Einstein


I was there when Albert Einstein died on Monday, April 18th, 1955.  I remember him saying, “Death, what a terrible way to begin the work week!”

Death changed Albert.  He became much quieter.  Through imagination, which is more important than knowledge, Albert’s death did not inspire some jokes:


“Why did Albert Einstein cross the road?”


“To get his hair cut.  He never made it.”


“How many Albert Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?”

“I dunno.”

“Just one, but he is absent-minded and keeps forgetting to change it.”



“Knock.  Knock.”

“Who’s there?”


“Albert who?”

“Albert Einstein.”

“And what would you like, Albert Einstein?”

“I would like to know whether you have seen my relatives.  I have a theory that they are here making a mass by squaring the speed of light.”

“Your relatives are not here.  We are just an arrangement of letters and pixels.  Try another universe.”



“Albert Einstein goes to a parallel universe looking for his relatives.  He sees a road.   On the other side of the road is a bar.  Albert crosses the road and walks into the bar.  The bartender cuts Albert’s hair.  Albert is ecstatic!   He finally got his hair cut.  He travels out of the bar at the speed of light.”

“That is not how bar jokes go.  Bartenders don’t cut hair.”

“They do in a parallel universe.”



“How many light bulbs does it take to change Albert Einstein?”

“Uh?  What kind of joke is that?”

“The kind of joke you hear in a parallel universe.  I heard it when I was in another universe during March Break.”

“Okay, so what is the punchline?  How many light bulbs does it take to change Albert Einstein?”

“No one knows whether Albert Einstein ever found his relatives.”

“What?  That’s the punchline?  I don’t get it.”

“Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.”



“Did you know that Albert Einstein had a brief  career as a stand-up comedian?”

“I did not know that.”

“His career was short.  No one understood his jokes.”




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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.