Not All About Social Distancing

The voices in my head decided to practice social distancing.  Now they are so far away; I can’t hear them.

*

Should the multiple personalities of people keep 6 feet apart?

*

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Why?”

“To tell a joke about social distancing to other chickens who are not there because they are social distancing in a chicken coop far away and the joke ends with a run-on sentence as a punchline.”

*

“Knock.  Knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Social.”

“Social who?”

“Social Disease.”

“I thought you were going to say Social Distancing. “

“Social Distancing is a distant cousin of mine.  I am Social Disease, and I used to be a term for  infections people transmitted sexually.”

“I’m too young to remember that.  Would you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Would you step away from the door and go somewhere else?”

*

 

*

“This social distancing is no good,” said a voice.  “He cannot hear us.”

“That’s okay,” said another voice.  “We have privacy.”

“But privacy is not our purpose.  We were sent so he could hear us all the time.”

“Really?  I did not know that.  Who sent us?”

“I’m not sure.  It was either Mad Ness or Schizo Phrenia.”

“If it was one of them, then we better get back.  They can be irrational and violent, and we don’t want to provoke them.  If we’re not going to social-distance, then we should wear face masks and rubber gloves.”

“Okay.”

*

The voices in my head stopped social-distancing. Now they are wearing face masks and rubber gloves. I don’t understand why.  The voices can’t get sick.  There is nothing in my head.

*

Social Distancing walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “I don’t believe it!  It’s impossible!  How can social distancing walk?”

“And I can talk, too, said Social Distancing.  “Anything is possible in a funny bone technician’s imagination.”

“Okay,” said the bartender.  “What will it be?”

And Social Distancing said, “Could I have an end to this blog, please?”

And the bartender did not say or do anything because the blog, and this joke, suddenly ended.

 

 

 

 

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I am Minnie and Chic's son.

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