“Why did the Canadian cross the road?”
“Why?”
“Eh?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did the Canadian cross the road?”
“Eh?”
“WHY DID THE CANADIAN CROSS THE ROAD?”
“Oh yeah. To buy a hearing aid on the other side.”
*
Two Canadians accidentally bump into each other, and then spent three centuries apologizing.
*
“How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“Eh?”
“How many?”
“How many what?”
“HOW MANY CANADIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?”
“Oh yeah. Just one, but first, he or she has to buy a new hearing aid.”
*
“Knock. Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“A Canadian.”
“A Canadian who?”
“A Canadian who is sorry to have knocked on your door and disturbed you.”
*
“Why don’t cannibals eat Canadians?”
“Why?”
“Too bland.”
*
“What’s the difference between Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau?”
“I dunno.”
“Donald Trump is the President of the United States, and Justin Trudeau is the Prime Minister of Canada.”
“That’s not funny.”
“I know, but a lot of Canadians are glad that it is true.”
*
“What would happen if Donald Trump was the Prime Minister of Canada?”
“What?”
“Cannibals would start eating Canadians.”
*
“Is there any way to end this blog about being Canadian in a spectacular way?”
“No.”
“How about an altered version of O Canada?”
“You can, but you’re going to offend some people in doing so.”
“That’s okay; they’re only Canadian.”
Bland Canada!
Our home and native land!
True boring stuff in all of us command.
With ho-hum hearts we see thee rise,
The True North dull and free!
From far and wide,
Bland Canada, we are banal for thee.
God keep our land monotonous and free!
Bland Canada, we are banal for thee.
Bland Canada, we are banal for thee.
