One of the best things I bought was an Extended Picker Upper.  Using it means that I do not have to bend over to pick something up.  At my advanced age of 932 years, bending over is such a chore.  All kinds of aches and pains appear throughout my body when I bend over.  The Extended Picker Upper stops me from experiencing these aches and pains.

Oh, the joys of getting older.  I oooo and grunt and moan and groan when I have to bend over, or kneel, or squat, or simply get up after sitting for a long time.  These oooos and grunts and moans and groans are the same noises I made during sex 900 years ago.