“What’s the difference between men and fish?
“Fish will ask for directions?”
“That’s true, and also, men have girlfriends and fish have gillfriends.”
*
“What’s the difference between black and white?”
“What?”
“Black will get promoted, and white won’t.”
*
“What’s the difference between Here and Now?”
“No difference.”
“That’s right. Gosh, you’re perceptive.”
“Thanks. I thought these were supposed to be funny.”
“They are.”
“But how is no difference between Here and Now funny?”
“Because Here and Now is part of the square root of rutabagas.”
“Uh? The square root of rutabagas? I don’t understand.”
“Obviously, you have never studied vegetalgebra.”
“Vegetalgebra?”
“Vegetalgebra. It’s a part of mathematics in which vegetables and letters are used to represent quantities and numbers in equations.”
“So if I had studied vegetalgebra, and knew the square root of rutabagas, then I would find no difference between Here and Now funny?”
“Gosh, you’re perceptive.”
*
“What’s the difference between left and right?”
“I dunno.”
“The difference between left and right is socks to a surrealist.”
“I guess I will laugh at these the sooner I study vegetalgebra.”
*
“What’s the difference between electrical generators and writers?”
“What?”
“Electrical generators cannot write.”
“And writers cannot charge.”
“Yes, they can with their credit cards.”
*
“What’s the difference between a clock and a pencil?”
“I dunno.”
“What time is it?”
“It’s six o’clock.”
“Did you get that information from a pencil?”
“No.”
“Then you do know the difference.”
*
“What’s the difference between a photocopier and nuts?”
“What?”
“Photocopiers are already at the office, but nuts you elect to office.”
*
“What is the difference between The End and The End?”
“There is no difference.”
“Gosh, you’re perceptive.”