Not All About Summer

 

Summer arrived in Toronto on Saturday, June 20th, at 5:44 pm.  There was no point in blogging about Summer’s arrival since the world was supposed to end on Sunday, June 21st.

Now it is June 22nd, and the world did not end.  As usual, the “experts” who predicted the end of the world are nowhere around. You never hear from the predictors of doom and gloom when the doom and gloom never happens.

*

“Why did Summer cross the road?”
“Why?”
“To get away from Spring.”
“Why would Summer want to get away from Spring?”
“Spring no longer smelled fresh.”

*

“Knock.  Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“A summer.”
“A summer who?”
“A summer love.”
“Oh!  Well, come on in!”

*

Summer walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “What will it be?”

And Summer said, “Do you have something to get rid of the smell of Spring?”

“What?” said the bartender.

SWOOSH!

Suddenly, a tornado destroyed this joke and blew Summer into the next one.

*

“What is the difference between summer and nice weather?”
“I dunno.”
Summer is one word, and nice weather is two.”

*

“How many summers does it take to change a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“Three, but I can’t remember why.”

*

Do heatwaves ever get hot flashes?

*

Summer walked into a bar and said to the bartender, “Hey!  You got your bar back.”

“Yes,” said the bartender, “it’s amazing what imagination can do.  What can I get you?”

And Summer said, “The tornado took away the smell of Spring, so I don’t need anything to get rid of that.  Sex on the Beach, is it possible to have the Beach without the Sex?”

“No problem,” said the bartender.  “It happens all the time with married people.”

The bartender left and then returned with a beach.  Summer played on the beach and built a giant sandcastle in which to live.

*

One day, a light bulb burnt out in the sandcastle.  Summer did not know why, but it needed two other summers to change the bulb.  Since there were not any other summers around, Summer decided to sell the sandcastle as a fixer-upper because of the burnt-out light bulb.

Summer had enough money, from the sale of the sandcastle, to hang around for the rest of June, July, and August.  After that, Summer would seek its fortune elsewhere.

 

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I am Minnie and Chic's son.

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