I slept better once I let the cat out of the bag.

*

Never mind letting sleeping dogs lie, make them tell the truth!

*

“Did you hear about the bald guy who broke his neck?”
“No.”
“He was trying to let down his hair.”

*

How does one get hot enough to let off steam?

*

“Unless you have lots of time, never let the dead bury the dead.”
“Why?”
“Dead people are slow.  It takes them forever to dig graves.”

*

How do you go back to square one when the squares have no numbers?

*

“What does a mouse with a house fear the most?”
“I dunno.”
“Cat burglars.”

*

“Is carpet diem a type of fish?”
“Yes, but a different kettle of fish.”

*

“How can there be fates worse than death when death is the permanent ending?”
“Obviously, you have never been married.”

*

“I can’t think of another variation of a saying.”
“You’re at your wits’ end.”