I slept better once I let the cat out of the bag.
*
Never mind letting sleeping dogs lie, make them tell the truth!
*
“Did you hear about the bald guy who broke his neck?”
“No.”
“He was trying to let down his hair.”
*
How does one get hot enough to let off steam?
*
“Unless you have lots of time, never let the dead bury the dead.”
“Why?”
“Dead people are slow. It takes them forever to dig graves.”
*
How do you go back to square one when the squares have no numbers?
*
“What does a mouse with a house fear the most?”
“I dunno.”
“Cat burglars.”
*
“Is carpet diem a type of fish?”
“Yes, but a different kettle of fish.”
*
“How can there be fates worse than death when death is the permanent ending?”
“Obviously, you have never been married.”
*
“I can’t think of another variation of a saying.”
“You’re at your wits’ end.”