“Why did the secret cross the road?”
“Why?
“To get to the top.”
“The top of what?”
“The top of secrets, of course.”

*

“Knock.  Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Secret.”
“Secret who?”
“If I tell you, then I’m gonna have to kill you.”
“Nevermind.”

*

“How many secrets does it take to change a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“If I tell you, then I’m gonna have to kill you.”
“But that’s the punchline from the last joke.”
“So?  Where is it written that you can’t use the same punchline for two jokes?”
“Is it not one of the Ten Commandments?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Perhaps you should come up with another punchline just to be on the safe side.”
“Okay.  How many secrets does it take to change a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“I can’t say.  It’s a secret.”
“That’s not a very good punchline.”
“Perhaps it isn’t, but at least I am not breaking any of the Ten Commandments.”

*

A secret sneaked into a bar, but the bartender saw it and asked, “What will it be?”
And the secret said, “I’ll have a beer and don’t tell anyone that I’m here.”
“Why not?” asked the bartender.
“And the secret said, “Because if people find out that I am in this joke, then I will have to reveal the punchline.  The punchline is still classified.”
“But it’s my bar,” said the bartender.  “Can’t you tell me the punchline?”
And the secret said, “I can, but then I will have to kill you.”
“Nevermind.”

*

“Why did Secret Chicken Agent James Rooster Bond cross the road?”
“Why?”
“To attend a meeting about the plot to overthrow McDonald’s and free all the Chicken McNuggets.”

*

Would a government of a country of timid people be concerned about National Insecurity?

*

“Knock.  Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Secret.”
“Secret who?”
“Secret Chicken Agent James Rooster Bond.  I’m not sure that I crossed the right road.  Is this the place for the meeting?”
“If I tell you, then I’m gonna have to kill you.”
“Nevermind.”

*

“Knock.  Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Top.”
“Top who?”
“Top Secret, but I’m tired of being on top.  Can we change positions?”
“Sure.  Which position would you like?”
“The End.”