“Why did the aliens cross the galaxy?”
“Why?”
“To invade Earth.”
“Why would aliens want to invade Earth?”
“Earth has the best selection of forms of stupidity.”
“Why would aliens want the best selection of various forms of stupidity?”
“Entertainment.”

*

“Knock.  Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“E.T.”
“E.T. who?”
“E.T. healthy food to keep your immune system strong.”

*

 

*

An alien walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”
And the alien turned around and walked out.  He realized that he did not speak English and could not participate in this joke.

*

“Did you hear about the lazy aliens?”
“No.  How lazy were they?”
“These aliens were so lazy that they brainwashed human beings to rape and destroy Mother Earth.”

*

An alien walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”
The confused-looking alien said, “Isn’t this the Galactic Spaceship License and Registration Department?”
“No,” said the bartender, “it’s a bar.  We serve drinks and food here.”
And the alien stormed out of the bar muttering, “Damn GPS!”

*

“How are alien invasions and marriage the same?”
“How?”
“Alien invasions invade your planet; marriage invades your privacy.”

*

Are there aliens who have borrowed money and used the Earth as collateral?

*

“What did the aliens discover while performing an anal probe?”
“What?”
“The End.”