My poop would not come out. I thought I was constipated, but that was not the case. My poop would not come out because it was terrified of catching COVID-19. So it self-isolated in my bowels.
After consulting with the government and its health experts, I shoved a face mask up my ass along with instructions on social distancing and hand washing. A short time later, my poop came out wearing the face mask and went on its merry way. What a relief!