Living With A Volcano

I am going to be as general as possible to keep the couple, A and B, anonymous.  A and B could be in a same-sex or heterosexual marriage.  A’s behavior is not gender-specific.

A and B are married.  B has issues, but is emotionally stable.  A has issues, too, but is not emotionally stable.  A is always criticizing, complaining, and yelling about something.  A is happiest when unhappy.

All will be quiet in the house, and then B will hear A erupt with an explosion of profanity and yelling.  When B investigates to see why all the noise, he or she will discover A in the kitchen upset at B for not placing the kettle centered on a burner on the stove.  The kettle was on the burner, but not perfectly centered.  Or, B will find A upset because B did not put a lid on tight enough on a food container.  A does a lot of screaming and swearing over such minor issues.

We all know people who behave like A.  They go into a major meltdown over something minor.  How important for us not to take the meltdowns personally.  These people are suffering from deep, emotional pain.  Their meltdowns have everything to do with their pain, and nothing to do with us.  However, it is difficult to remember this when a person like A is yelling at you.

I do not know how B will resolve the problems with A.  Perhaps A will wake up one day and realize that he or she needs help.  Perhaps A will never get help, and B will end up leaving A.  Or maybe B will stay married to A until one of them dies.  Who knows?

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I am Minnie and Chic's son.

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