“Mr. Johnston, your mission is to invent ten Why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road? jokes.”
What if I decide not to accept my mission?
“Mr. Johnston, need I remind you that you have no choice?”
You just did.
*
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Why?”
“To see whether spending so much time crossing the road would increase its life-insurance premiums.”
*
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Why?”
“To break in a new pair of running shoes.”
“But why would a chicken wear running shoes?”
“KFC, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Charlie’s Chickens, Whacky Willie’s Chicken Wings . . . “
*
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Why?”
“To repair Humpty Dumpty.”
“But I thought that all the king’s horses and all the king’s men could not do that.”
“They couldn’t. So they called the chicken because it had an egg-repair business.”
*
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Why?”
“Because it was There.”
“Where?”
“There!”
“Where is there? Where is the road that the chicken crossed?”
“Jokesville, Where.”
“Jokesville, where?”
“Where is the name of the country, and Jokesville is a city in Where.”
“Where is Where?”
“I’m not sure. It could be anywhere.”
“Let me get this straight. The chicken crossed the road because the road was called There, and There is in Jokesville, Where.”
“That is correct.”
“Is Jokesville, Where where Who lives?”
“Yes, when he is not out-of-town playing baseball.”
*
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Why?”
“To plant a garden.”
“Why would a chicken want to plant a garden?”
“To grow lots of vegetables to encourage people to become vegetarians.”
*
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Why?”
“To get a different perspective.”
“Why would a chicken want a different
perspective?”
“Its views were getting foul.”
*
“Why did the chicken cross the road?
“Why?”
“To go shopping.”
“What would a chicken shop for?”
“Coward clothing.”
*
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Why?”
“None of your business.”
“So, why did you ask me?”
“None of your business.”
“Is that your only answer?”
“None of your business.”
*
“Why did the chicken keep crossing the road back and forth and back and forth?”
“Why?
“It was old and kept forgetting its reason for crossing the road.”
*
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“Why?”
“To join other chickens who were protesting while shouting, ‘CHICKEN LIVES MATTER! CHICKEN LIVES MATTER!’ “
*
“Why did the chicken not cross the road?”
“Why?”
“It ran out of reasons to do so.”
*
“Mr. Johnston, your mission was to invent ten jokes, and you invented eleven. Why?”
Two reasons:
1 – Studies have proven that the world becomes a better place with more and more Why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road? jokes; and,
2 – Studies have also confirmed that I cannot count.
