“Why did the panic attack cross the road?”
“Why?”
“It was taking place in the mind of a chicken.”

*

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“It was taking place in the mind of a panic attack?”
“No, it was on its way to see a psychiatrist about
curing the panic attacks.”

*

“When,” said the psychiatrist, “did you start having these panic attacks?”
And the chicken said, “Ever since they built a KFC in my neighborhood.”

*

“How many panic attacks does it take to bulb a light change?”
“Uh?”
“How many panic attacks does it take to bulb a light change?”
“A kitchen sink full of broken biscuits.”
“That’s right!  Spoken like a true surrealist.”

*

A panic attack walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”
And the panic said, “Oh no!  Oh no!  Oh, no!”
“Sorry,” said the bartender, ” but we’re out of Oh no!s.  Can I get you some No! No! No! No! ?”
“Okay,” said the panic attack.
The bartender leaves and returns with a large glass of No! No! No! No!
“You’re new around here,” said the bartender.
“Yes,” said the panic attack, “I’m looking for a box of biscuits.”
“Why?” asked the bartender.
“I cause the box of biscuits to panic and break up the biscuits.”
“What for?”
And the panic attack said, “I sell the broken biscuits to funny bone technicians who use them in jokes.”

*

“What does a panic attack do to relax?”
“I dunno.”
“It hangs out with hurricanes.”

*

“Is there any way panic attacks can be beneficial?”
“Yes, when seen as aerobic exercise.”