At 11:40 pm on Sunday April 14, 1912, an iceberg attacked the Titanic.  It was an unprovoked attack.  The Titanic was on its way to New York to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.  It did nothing to provoke the iceberg.

This attack proved fatal.  The Titanic succumbed to its wounds on Monday April 15, at 2:20 am.

 

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Iceberg to Titanic:  “Will you go down on me?”

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The Titanic walked into a bar and the bartender  said, “What will it be?”
And the Titanic said, “I don’t care.  Just don’t give me anything with ice in it.”

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“How many Titanics does it take to change a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“One, but the light bulb has to burn out before April 15, 1912.”

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“What do you call an iceberg without the Titanic?”
“I dunno.”
“An iceberg.”

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“What do you call the Titanic wearing deodorant?”
“What?”
“Unstinkable.”

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“What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?”
“I don’t know.  What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?”
“Not to where you want to go?”

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“Was the iceberg charged with murder?”
“Yes.  Its lawyer tried to argue that the iceberg was not guilty by reason of icesanity, but the jury found the iceberg guilty of murder.  The judge sentenced the iceberg to life imprisonment or three weeks—whichever came first.  Unfortunately, the iceberg melted before it could serve its sentence.”