I am lonely. I am desperate. The dog next door is attractive.
The dog’s name is Donna. I am thinking about asking her out. Of course we would wear masks and social distance.
Will Donna’s owners allow me to date her unchaperoned? If so, then do I have to have Donna on a leash?
Where will we go for our date? The restaurants and theaters are closed. I suppose we could go to a park and play fetch. Will Donna mind throwing a stick so I can fetch it?
***
I asked Donna out.
“Thank you for asking,” she said. “Tell me, have you had your rabies vaccine?”
“No,” I said.
“Distemper?”
“No.”
“Kennel Cough?”
“No.”
“Thanks again for asking, but I don’t think we should date,” she said.
