I bought a Mastercraft Digital Multimeter at Canadain Tire.  Igor, my assistant, suggested I buy one.  We have some spare body parts that we want to put together.  He said that we would need to test for high voltage during the process.

I could not figure out how to install the nine-volt battery that was included.  I spent an eternity looking at the back and front of the multitester.  Finally, I gave up.

Gadget Rule Number 1:
When all else fails, read the instructions.

I read through the instruction manual.  Nowhere— NOWHERE!—does it tell you how to install the battery.  I read through the instruction manual a second time and a third time, and a forty-seventh time.  Nowhere does it tell you how to install the battery.

It was back to Canadian Tire to solve the greatest mystery of all time:  How to install a battery in a Mastercraft Digital Multitester.

The woman at the Service Desk examined the back and front of the Multitester.  After a pause, she asked, “Did you check the instructions?”

“Yes,” I said.

And then she checked the instructions twice.

“Well,” she said, “take it down to the hardware desk.  I’ll call someone to help you.”

The man at the hardware desk examined the back and front.  After a pause, he asked, “Did you check the instructions?”

“Yes,” I said.

Then he checked the instruction manual three times.

“Are you sure it takes a battery?” he asked.

“Yes, a nine-volt battery.”

“Is this your battery, or did it come with it?”

“It came with the package.”

“Well, then, it definitely takes a battery.”

He handled the multimeter more and began lifting the blue rubber around it.  In doing so, he discovered that the blue rubber was just a casing to protect the multimeter.  Once he removed the blue casing, there was the battery compartment on the back of the multimeter.  Mystery solved!

Igor was so excited when I got home.  His hump wagged like a dog’s tail!

Igor went out to the garage to get the body parts.  They were gone!  Someone had stolen them.  The cannibal who lives down the street is a prime suspect, but we could not call the police.  What do we tell the police, “Someone stole the body parts we stole from the cemetery.”?

Using my Mastercraft Digital Multimeter will have to wait until we acquire more body parts.