“Why did the listen cross the road?”
“Why?”
“To listen to the other side.”

*

“How many listens does it take to change a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“Just one, but the light bulb has to be deaf.”
“Uh?  Why does the light bulb have to be deaf?”
“What?”
“I said, ‘Why does the light bulb have to be deaf?’ ”
“So the listen can change it.”
“I don’t get the joke.”
“Not too many do.”

*

A listen walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Wow!  My hero.  Anything you want is on the house.”
And the listen said, “Do I need a ladder to get it?”

*

“Knock  Knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Listen.”
“For what?”
“You were supposed to ask, ‘Listen who?’ ”
“What?”
“Celebrated for her distinct choreographic style, Penelope Pisswhistle’s work has been praised internationally.”
“Penelope Pisswhistle?  I’ve never heard of her.”
“She was a light bulb until she went deaf.  That’s when a listen changed her into a dancer.”
“Did she need a ladder to get anything on the house?”
“No one knows for sure.  Now, if you will excuse me, I have more doors to knock on.”

*

“Does anyone really listen these days?”
“What?”

*

“Can I help you?”
“Yes.  My name is Penelope Pisswhistle, and I’m looking for a place to dance.”
“Your place has ants?  Try lighting your place with deaf light bulbs.  The deaf light bulbs attract listens, and ants don’t like listens.”
“Thanks.”

*

“What kind of clothes do listens wear?”
“I dunno.”
“None.  Have you ever seen a listen wearing clothes?”
“I’ve never seen a listen.”
“They’re all over.  Keep your ears open and you will see one.”
“And then what do I do when I see one?”
“Call Penelope Pisswhistle.  She’s looking for a place to raise her pet ants.”

*

“It’s free!”
“What’s free?”
“The End”
“But we never found out why a light bulb has to be deaf before a listen will change it.”
“What?”