Not Yet

A long time ago, way before someone invented the word invented, a Ouija Board predicted that I would die during the first week of August in 2018.  I do not think that I died in August 2018, but my reaction time slowed down.  There have been many times since then that I go to the bathroom before I get to the bathroom.

“Was the Ouija Board right about the dates but off by two or three or forty-seven years?” I have wondered every July since 2018.  I never buy green bananas on July 31st.

This year I thought I might be Number Three after hearing about the deaths of two friends during July.  I could have celebrated being death-free at 12:01 am on August 8th, but Paul McCartney told me that a week has eight days.

It is August 9th.  It is one day past the first eight days of August.  I am not dead.  See how smart I am to have figured that out?

Whether it is the first week of August or some other time, one day I will die.  I hope that my death does not happen while I am on stage doing standup.


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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.