I have written about Igor Ego before. This is the first time I have called him Igor Ego. Other names that suit Igor are Norman Narcissist and Danny Dummkopf.
Igor Ego’s idea of a conversation is him talking at you. He has no interest in what you have to say and will interrupt you if you try to say it. It is all about him and what he has to say. What you have to say does not matter.
When I call Igor, he asks, “What’s on your pea brain?”
I will start to tell him. I may speak for five seconds and certainly no more than ten before he interrupts, “Alright. Alright. I’ve got a few things to say.”
Igor’s few things to say is the rest of the telephone call. I never get to finish telling him what was on my pea brain, and he never asks.
I do not call Igor as much as I did because of him constantly interrupting me. And after what he did to me the other day, I will be calling him even less.
Igor often moves his mouth away from the mouthpiece of the telephone. I cannot hear what he is saying when he does this. He gets angry when I tell him I can’t hear him. He moves his mouth back to the mouthpiece and shouts, “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”
The other day I could not hear what he was saying, so I said, “Excuse me, but I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
“STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”
“I wasn’t interrupting. I couldn’t hear what you were saying.”
“YOU’RE INTERRUPTING ME! STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”
“I couldn’t understand what you were saying. Don’t you want me to understand what you’re saying?”
“YOU WERE INTERRUPTING ME! AND NOW YOU’RE MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT! STOP MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT!”
“You’re the one making the big deal with all this shouting. I was trying to understand what you were saying.”
He stopped shouting.
“And because you interrupted me, I can’t remember what I was saying. See what happens when you interrupt me?”
I thought, “You egotistical bastard!” Not written here but in my thought was an adjective modifying egotistical. That adjective starts with an F.
“Okay,” I said, “from now on, I’m not going to ask you to repeat yourself when I can’t understand you.”
“You interrupted me, and then you made a big deal about it, and then you made me forget what I was saying.”
I wanted to tell him to engage in the horizontal recreation by himself, but I did not. I repeated how I would not try to understand what he says by asking him to repeat himself.
He responded with, “You made me forget what I was saying.”
I will have a pencil and paper with me the next time I call Igor Ego, aka Norman Narcissist, aka Danny Dummkopf. As soon he starts talking, I will start solving quadratic equations. That way, my time on the telephone with him will not be wasted.