Oh No! Not Another . . .


. . . married woman!  I already have one who wants to be “friends.”  And now there is another one.

Both married women will read this blog.   They follow it religiously, and contact me when I miss a day or seven of not posting something.  “Are you okay?” they ask.  Perhaps they will realize that I am serious about not getting involved with them as long as they are married.  Both have trouble accepting the word, “NO!”

They do not know each other.  I will call them Number One and Number Two.  (What a coincidence that Number One and Number Two are euphemisms for bodily functions.)

Number One has been after me for a long time.  I admire her persistence.  Number Two started pursuing me recently.  She, too, seems persistent.

The similarities between Number One and Number Two are uncanny.

Both claim to love me.  Both said that the Universe meant us to be together.  I suspect that they love me because both love to masturbate, and I happen to look like their right hands.

Both have been married for over 30 years.

Both have grown children.

Both have husbands who drink a lot.

Both say they intend to leave their husbands, but do not know when.  In the meantime, both want to get the intimacy from me that they are not getting from their husbands.

Both tell me, “I love talking to you.  I love the sound of your voice.”

Both have said the same things to me using the exact words.

I have told both of them that I will not be “the other woman.”

If I am going to be in a relationship, I want a relationship grounded on honesty.  I do not want to be with a woman who has to sneak around on her husband to have any contact with me.

I like Number One and Number Two, but I do not love them.  Perhaps I would love them if they looked like my right hand.

How flattering to have them pursue me.  It is nice to be wanted and not be a Nazi war criminal.



Dear Santa,

I am not naughty.  I will not get involved with a married woman.

For Christmas, could you bring me a single woman
who will welcome my mood swings, bad smells, and the voices in my head?

Thank you.



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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.