“Why did New Year’s Eve cross the road?”
“Why?”
“Time marches on.”
*
At the beginning of 2021, people said, “Happy New Year!” to Betty White.
*
Don’t drink when you are not thirsty. It makes you pee more.
*
“Knock. Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Time.”
“Time who?”
“Time waits for no one.”
“So what are you doing outside my door?”
“Waiting for no one.”
*
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“Because why because.”
“This is not funny.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
*
“Any New Year’s resolutions?”
“Yes. I resolved to stop going to the bathroom.”
“How’s it going?”
“What?”
“I said, how is it going.”
“Sorry, I did not hear you because of the noise from my flushing toilet.”
*
“Did you have a nice New Year’s?”
“I don’t remember.”
“How can you not remember?”
“I drank myself to oblivion.”
