I Am Confused, Premier Ford

I am confused, Premier Ford.  I am confused over in which State of Emergency I should be vigilant.  We, here in Ontario, have been in a State of Emergency for two years.  Today you declared another State of Emergency, and now we have two States of Emergency.

Are States of Emergency like vaccines?  Will you be declaring a third State of Emergency?  If so, then I will be more confused.

I know you will consult your unelected medical experts to help clear up my confusion.  Could you also ask them whether it is safe to use unvaccinated toilet paper?

I have another question that I am a little embarrassed to ask.  Could your unelected medical experts tell me the safest way to wipe my ass?  These experts have been telling us what to do for so long that I am afraid to think for myself.  Thank you.

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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.