Valentine’s Day Memories of Norma


Norma is not her real name.  I used Norma because being normal was important to her.

I dated Norma a long time ago before God created the Earth.  Having no Earth made going to restaurants challenging.

Norma dumped me on our first Valentine’s Day.  Instead of normal flowers, I bought Norma a big red juicy apple and a Book of Knowledge.  (The Book of Knowledge was a one-volume encyclopedia.)  These romantic gifts alluded to Eve giving Adam an apple from the Tree of Knowledge.

Norma did not share my excitement over the uniqueness of these gifts.

“This is what you bought me?” she said.

“Yes,” I said.  “Just think, no one has ever received Valentine’s Day gifts like these before.”

“Of course not because it’s not normal!  You’re not normal!  You’re weird!  I want someone normal.  I want normal flowers for Valentine’s Day and not a stupid apple and a book.”

“Would you have liked these gifts if I had given them to you when we were both naked like Adam and Eve?”

“NO!  We’re done!  You’re not normal, and I never want to see you again!”

How crushing her words!  The depression that followed her dumping me was deeper than an abeckhallo.  I don’t know what an abeckhallo is, but it is deep, very, very deep.

Over the years, my confidence grew.  Now, I am proud of my weirdness.  I often stick my chest out and boast, “I’m not normal!”  That Valentine’s Day with Norma was one of the highlights of my life.

Norma eventually met Normal Guy and had a normal wedding.  Norma and Normal Guy moved into a normal house in a normal neighborhood, and had three normal children.

As far as I know, Norma and Normal Guy, and their three normal children, are living normally ever after.

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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.