If St. Patrick Was Around Today . . .

Legend has it that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.  He got away with doing so way back when.  Could he drive the snakes out of Ireland today?

“Hey Mr. St. Patrick, I know my rights.  You can’t make me leave my home because I am a snake.  I have contacted the Snakes’ Rights Association (SRA), and they are providing me with a lawyer.  I am going to sue your saintly ass for discrimination!”


“Hey Mr. St. Patrick, you can’t ask us to leave because we do not identify as snakes.  We may look like snakes, but we identify as duck-billed platypuses.  Therefore, we are not snakes.  Also, you can’t stop us from using the duck-billed platypuses’ washrooms.  So there!”


“Hey Mr. St. Patrick, you can’t deport us.  We have valid work visas.  Our visas are valid for two years.  We have a legal right to be here.  We have been working at Shamrock Publishing in the copyleft department.  Come back in two years when our visas expire.”


Poor St. Paddy!  No creatures to run out of Ireland.  What would he do?  He would likely get a job at McDonald’s and become Employee of the Month now and again.

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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.