“Why did the mask cross the road?”
“I dunno.”
“To squat on a face on the other side.”

*

“How many masks does it take to change a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“Just one, but the light bulb has to be triple vaxxed with an appointment already made for the fourth booster.”

*

“A mask walked into a bar and the bartender shouted, “Hey!  You can’t come in here without a face!”

*

“Knock.  Knock”
“Who’s there?”
“A mask.”
“A mask who?”
“A mask who is looking for a face.”
“Sorry, but I gave at the office.”

*

Parent mask:  What do you want to be when you grow up?
Child mask:  I want to trap bacteria and germs on peoples’ faces for long periods.
Parent mask:  Wow!  How noble of you.

*

“Do people have to wear masks and social distance in Heaven?”
“No, because it violates The Eleventh Commandment.”
“The Eleventh Commandment?”
“The Eleventh Commandment:  Thou shall not do stupid things.”

*

The mask returned to the bar with a drunken face it had picked up in Alcoholic Alley.
“What will it be?” asked the bartender.
And the mask said, “I’ll have a glass of fresh air, please, and bring the face a glass of aftershave lotion or turpentine, thanks.”

*

“What is the difference between a surgical mask and a surgical mask?”
“I dunno.”
“Wearing a surgical mask is subtle suffocation, and wearing a surgical mask is subtle suffocation.”
“I think you should stop now.”
“Why?”
“You’re starting to make sense.”

 

https://www.simonandschuster.ca/books/The-Case-Against-Masks/Judy-Mikovits/9781510764279