“Why did the mask cross the road?”
“To squat on a face on the other side.”
“How many masks does it take to change a light bulb?”
“Just one, but the light bulb has to be triple vaxxed with an appointment already made for the fourth booster.”
“A mask walked into a bar and the bartender shouted, “Hey! You can’t come in here without a face!”
“A mask who?”
“A mask who is looking for a face.”
“Sorry, but I gave at the office.”
Parent mask: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Child mask: I want to trap bacteria and germs on peoples’ faces for long periods.
Parent mask: Wow! How noble of you.
“Do people have to wear masks and social distance in Heaven?”
“No, because it violates The Eleventh Commandment.”
“The Eleventh Commandment?”
“The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shall not do stupid things.”
The mask returned to the bar with a drunken face it had picked up in Alcoholic Alley.
“What will it be?” asked the bartender.
And the mask said, “I’ll have a glass of fresh air, please, and bring the face a glass of aftershave lotion or turpentine, thanks.”
“What is the difference between a surgical mask and a surgical mask?”
“Wearing a surgical mask is subtle suffocation, and wearing a surgical mask is subtle suffocation.”
“I think you should stop now.”
“You’re starting to make sense.”