Farting Around

I love farting around!  Tinkering or tankering with this or that—I love farting around!  The more trivial and insignificant and anal-retentive the activity is, the more it relaxes me and the more fun I have.

Farting around is creative and playful.  I am in the moment when I fart around.  Farting around is a form of meditation, an altered state of consciousness.  I love farting around!

I write with a pencil, and then revise and edit when I am typing my penciled draft online.

I use a hand-held pencil sharpener to keep my pencil sharp.  Often, more ideas come to me when I take a break from my writing to sharpen a pencil.

I knew that different pencil sizes explained the two holes in the pencil sharpener.  I also knew that using the different holes would give you different sharpened tips for your pencil.  I googled two-hole pencil sharpeners to see whether there was anything else that I should know.

Well!  Well!  Well!  I learned something that I never knew or even thought about.  I learned that you could sharpen pencil-sharpener blades when they get dull.

Who thought that you could sharpen dull pencil-sharpener blades?  The idea never occurred to me with all the pencil sharpeners I have used since I was little.   And I never, ever heard anyone talk about sharpening pencil-sharpener blades.  What an excellent anal-retentive idea!  What a perfect opportunity to fart around!

I also learned that you could tell your pencil-sharpener blade is dull if the shaving breaks up instead of coming out in one long piece.  Your blade is sharp if the shaving does not break and comes out in one long piece.



General Purpose Sharpener Stone

I will be buying a sharpener stone.  Boy, am I going to have fun unscrewing the blades of my many pencil sharpeners!  Boy, am I going to have fun sharpening them!  Boy, am I going to have fun screwing them back on!

I plan to have the sharpest pencil-sharpener blades on this side of the Galaxy.  Aliens from all around will come to me and ask, “Can we sharpen our pencils with your pencil sharpeners?”

I have no problem allowing the aliens to use my pencil sharpeners.  The blades will get duller faster, which means more fun farting around to sharpen them.

It is more efficient to buy new pencil sharpeners when the blades get dull instead of sharpening them.  But I cannot fart around if I buy new pencil sharpeners.  Where’s the fun in that?

Did I mention that I love farting around?




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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.