“The Cheque is in the Mail”

“The cheque is in the mail.”

How often have you heard that—especially if you are in the arts and do not have a steady income?

“The cheque is in the mail.”

 The people who say this could be honest:

“Listen, the money we are using to pay you is sitting in a bank account earning interest.  The longer it takes to pay you, the more interest we earn.  We wait until the last minute and beyond the last minute to mail cheques.  More delays, more interest.”

When we discussed payment last month, I asked the place that owes me money to do an e-transfer or direct deposit.

“No,” said the female robot, “we-pay-by-cheque- only.  We-will-mail-your-cheque-on-March 21st.”

Here it is, March 25th, and still no cheque.

Whatever happened to next-day mail delivery for local mail?  At one time, if you mailed something from within Toronto to someone in Toronto, then the person received the mail the next day.  Today, March 25th, 2022, if you mail something from Toronto to someone within Toronto, the person may receive it on March 25th, 2027.  At some point, Canada Post changed its policy.  Next-day delivery for local mail is now to five-year delivery for local mail.  Who knows what the delivery time is for nonlocal mail?

What fun I had juggling the dust in my bank account while waiting for the March 21st cheque.  But now the dust is gone, and I am juggling the air molecules.  Once the molecules go, I will juggle the vacuum in my bank account.

Oh well, it could be worse.  I could be waiting for a cheque with nothing in my bank account to juggle.

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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.