Elvira: A Brief Relationship With A Psychic

Elvira is not her real name.  I like the name Elvira for an attractive psychic woman.

Our relationship started in May, 2006 and fizzled out by the end of August, 2006.  I thought we met accidentally.  We bumped into each other while walking into a health food store.  Elvira later confessed that she “set up” our meeting.  She knew where I was going, and she planned to be there.

Elvira, who was divorced with a twelve-year-old son, said she wanted a “normal” relationship.  By “normal,” she meant she wanted a relationship with someone who did not have psychic powers.

She was modest about her psychic abilities.  She shared them only with people close to her.  She could read minds, travel out of her body, and know what you would say before you said it.

Elvira worked in the Human Resources department of a major Toronto institution.  Her job involved interviewing people for various reasons.  She often told me how she knew when people were lying.  She always found a way to expose their lies without revealing that she could read minds.

Elvira hated being in crowds.  She said that she became overwhelmed by peoples’ energy and thoughts.  We went to places that were not crowded and had to leave when these places became crowded.

She loved spending time beside large bodies of water.  The water gave her relief from the thoughts and psychic energy constantly bombarding her.

She did not need Call Display, which allowed you to see who was calling before you answered your phone.  She knew who was calling before she answered.  She also knew who was paging me without seeing my pager.  My pager went off with a voice or numeric message.  She would tell me who it was and why he or she was calling.  She was never wrong.  Never!

She told me how she traveled out of her body several times and spied on me when I was home alone.  Each time she accurately reported what she had seen.  There was no way that she could have known what I was doing without seeing it herself.

Because she could read minds, she knew what I would say before I said it.  I could not tell her anything without her becoming irritated because she already knew what I would say.  I needed to express myself, but she would cut me off because she knew what I would say.

She never cut me off during the first part of our relationship.  She pretended that she did not know what I was going to say.  She started cutting me off as the honeymoon wore off.

She loved going to restaurants, and I did not.  She said, “I love to see you squirm when you look at the bill.”  Restaurant food is overpriced, and I dislike paying for overpriced food that will go down the toilet.

Elvira was an artist.  I thought that she would want to spend more time alone painting, but we could not coordinate when we wanted to be alone and when we would spend time together.

Our relationship fizzled out by the end of August.

I occasionally think about Elvira.  How many people like Elvira are out there?  How many times have they read my mind?  How many times have they spied on me after leaving their bodies?

Perhaps Elvira is watching me now as I write this.  If she is, then she will appreciate how I disguised her identity.

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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.