On Expensive Wallets

“You’re showing your low class by complaining about expensive wallets.”

“If it weren’t for low class, then I would not have any class at all.”

“Expensive wallets are a status symbol.”

“A status symbol?  I understand driving a BMW or Audi being a status symbol.  I understand wearing Pierre Cardin or other designer clothing being a status symbol.  I understand wearing jewelry being a status symbol.  All of these are things other people easily see.  But a five-hundred-dollar wallet?  It sits hidden in your pocket.  The only way other people see it is to bring it out and say, ‘I paid five hundred dollars for this wallet.’  And then hope you see the envy on people’s faces as they look at your expensive wallet before you put it back into your pocket.”


“Why would a wallet cost a lot of money?”
“All their lives, the cows that donated their hides ate caviar.”


“Why does this wallet cost $850.00?”
“It costs $50.00.  The store owners have a high markup on all items to support their Lego and Playdoh habit.”



All money from the sale of expensive wallets goes to CAM (Cows Against McDonald’s).


“Have you noticed that you never see roses buying expensive wallets?”
“Yes, I notice that all the time.”
“It proves that roses are smarter than us.”


“You want the real reason they sell expensive wallets?”
“So that funnybone guy will have something to blog about.”
“It’s all about him?”
“It’s all about him.”

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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.