“Why did conformity cross the road?”
“I dunno.”
“It was following everyone else.”
“Why? Where was everyone going?”
“To a convention for nonconformists.”
Conformity walked into a bar and the bartender said, “What will it be?”
And conformity said, “I’ll have what everyone else is having.”
“Knock. Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“A conformist.”
“A conformist? Is that some type of fog?”
“You were supposed to say, ‘A conformist who?’ ”
“Sorry, I don’t always do what others do.”
“You’re a nonconformist?”
“Yes, but only because there are others who are nonconformists. I don’t have the courage to be different on my own.”
“How many conformists does it take to change a light bulb?”
“How many?”
“A bunch of them, and they all have to do it together.”
“What is the good thing about conformity?”
“I dunno.”
“You don’t have to think.”
“What is the bad thing about conformity?”
“What?”
“You don’t have to think.”
Is peer pressure something that affects your bladder?
How would we lock stuff up if all the keys conformed?
Are clouds great nonconformists?
Is sex with conformists always the same?
“Hey!”
“Yes?”
“It’s time to go.”
“Why?”
“Because the nonconformist convention is over and everyone is leaving.”
“Wonderful! I’m looking forward to crossing back across the road.”
*First printed in The Daily Growl on a Dog Day in July, 2052.
