Write what you know is often said to people who want to write.

Here is what I know:

I know that 2+2=UFO.
“That’s absurd!”
I know it’s absurd.  That is why I wrote it.

 

I know that nothing is not impossible.  Nothing is nothing.  How can nothing be anything else except nothing?

 

I know that genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent body odour.

 

I know that you should never cover a book by a judge.  The judge gets angry and sends you to jail.

 

I know that an apple a day keeps the doctor away.  What I don’t know is how doctors react to bananas.

 

I know that honesty is the best policy—except if you are in deep doo-doo.  When you’re up to your ears in caca—LIE!

 

I know that date rape has nothing to do with fruit sex.

 

I know that I often go on and on and don’t know when to stop.