If I said that I had a Coronal Mass Ejection, then some would think that it was the result of a session with Miss Thumb and her four friends.
A Coronal Mass Ejection (CME) is a solar storm in which the Sun ejects enormous amounts of electromagnetic radiation into space. When this radiation reaches the Earth, it could cause power outages, telecommunications problems, and shortages of pumptice.
Here are possible causes for Coronal Mass Ejections:
A CME is the Sun having a wet dream.
A CME is the Sun’s reaction to a booster shot.
Climate change on Earth causes CMEs.
It’s all Vladimir Putin’s fault.
The Sun ejects radiation every time Donald Trump combs his hair.
Stress. The Sun worries about catching monkeypox and not having enough bananas.
A CME happens when the Square Root of Zero interacts with Einstein’s Theory of Soap.
The Sun ejects vast amounts of radiation when the pyramids sneak away from Egypt and go to a greasy spoon on the planet Mercury to eat greasy spoons.
But most astronomers believe that Coronal Mass Ejections are caused by unfinished —