Not A Computer Geek

Not Gary Johnston

When it comes to computers, I have a little more knowledge than a tree, but not much more.  Trees have almost no computer knowledge, so you rarely see a tree using one.

When my computer misbehaves, it takes me centuries to correct its behavior.  A computer geek would fix the problem in less time it takes men to have sex.

I wanted to bank online, but the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce (CIBC) website would not load—at least on Google Chrome.  It loaded with no problems on other browsers.

I followed the advice of the CIBC’s tech people, YouTube, and the silverfish crawling up my wall.  I cleared my cache, I cleared my cookies, and I cleared my pantry.  But this did not work, and the website would not load.

I then flushed my DNS, and that did not work.  (Doesn’t flushing your DNS sound gross?  Instead of using profanity to tell people to go away, I am going to say, “Go flush your DNS!”)

I removed some Google Extensions, and sacrificed the firstborn of a local skunk family to Stinky, the God of Smell.  That worked!  The CIBC website loaded.

The skunk family was happy to give up their firstborn because it refused to get vaccinated.

So, what a computer geek could solve in minutes took me several lifetimes.  I watched my clothes go out of style.  But it satisfies me to know that a tree would have taken longer.



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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.