Human Reasoning

Beyoncé’s new album cover


Human reasoning fascinates me—especially when I see the silly reasoning of Igor Ego.

I have mentioned Igor Ego before in several blogs.  How there is room for the Universe and Igor Ego’s ego remains a mystery.

Today, Igor Ego expressed moral outrage over Beyoncé’s album cover appearing in a full-page ad in the Toronto Star.

“It’s disgusting!” he said.  “Showing nudity in the Toronto Star, a family newspaper, is immoral!

“And she can’t sing,” he continued.  “She has no talent.”

I mentioned to Igor Ego that she is popular for someone with “no talent.”

“People don’t have my ear for music and my eye for talent,” he said.  “They can’t tell when singers are bad, or actors can’t act.”


Igor Ego does not like the word “fuck.”

“People who use that disgusting word are ignorant and low class,” he said.

Knowing that Igor Ego is a staunch conservative, I said, “What about former conservative Ontario Premiere Mike Harris?  Is he ignorant and low class because he said, ‘I want the fucking Indians out of the park!’ “

“That’s different,” said Igor Ego.

“So, Mike Harris is not ignorant and does not have low class for using that word?”

“Why are you picking on Mike Harris?  He was the best premiere this province had blah blah blah . . .”

And so, Igor Ego used his superlative human reasoning to cloud the issue of whether Mike Harris was ignorant and low class for using the “F” word.

Here is how Igor Ego’s reasoning fascinates me:

It is okay when a conservative says, “Fuck.”  But when a liberal says it, the liberal is ignorant and low class.

It is immoral to use sex in marketing, but it is not immoral for Igor Ego to fuck around on his wife with his four mistresses.

His wife does not know about the mistresses, but they know about her.  The mistresses do not know that he is fucking around on them, too.

Igor Ego got up on his soapbox and said, “Liberals’ immorality has ruined society, and paved the way for pictures like Beyoncé’s to appear in a family newspaper!”

In Igor Ego’s eyes, he is not doing anything wrong.  He is not a mere mortal.  He is the God of Hypocrisy.  We should bow to him and admire his judgment for talent, and moral behavior.




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About the Author

I am Minnie and Chic's son.