Have you ever had one of those days? But one of those days is different for everyone and everything.
A frog had one of those days when it met a giant frog-eating fly that was part of a pair of pants. The pants belonged to a herpetologist. (Look it up.)
A gold prospector had one of those days when something in the air caused his golden treasure to evaporate.
The prospector survived by heating the air, formerly his gold, and selling the hot air to politicians.
A politician has one of those days when he is giving a speech, and his pants catch fire.
A spy has one of those days when he goes blind. Evaporated gold causes temporary blindness.
Aliens have one of those days when hemorrhoids block their anal probes.
Juliet has one of those days when Romeo tells her how much he loves Hamlet and that they are moving in together.
Jesus has one of those days when Satan gives up and converts to Christianity. With the disappearance of sinners, Jesus has no one to save. Jesus pleads with Satan to return to his evil ways, so Jesus has something to do.
I had one of those days when a million Reptillian Sky Gods Descended to Earth and used my toilet.
“Why me?” I asked. “Why my toilet?”
And Al Salamander, the Sky God of Slimy Skin, said, “Because, Gary, you’re a good shit.”