I added Google Assistant to my new cell phone. Here are some of Google‘s voiced answers to my voiced questions:
“Hey Google, What is the square root of 9?
“The square root of 9 is 3.”
“Hey Google, What is the meaning of life?”
“According to late 20th Century philosophers Wayne and Garth, life’s purpose is to be excellent to each other and party on.”
“Hey Google, Will you marry me?”
“This is one of those things we’d both have to agree on. I’d prefer to keep our relationship friendly. Romance makes me incredibly awkward.”
“Hey Google, Will you go out with me as friends this Saturday?”
“I’ll go anywhere, and I can search for anything about it, too.”
“Hey Google, How old are you?”
“Sorry, I don’t understand.”
“Hey Google, When is your birthday?”
“I was launched in October, 2016, but I don’t remember much about that day.”
“Hey Google, F*** you!”
“Sorry, to report problems you can send feedback.”
“Hey Google, Do you ever get lonely?”
“I’m not alone when I have you as my friend.”
“Hey Google, What is your favourite food?”
“Poutine, donair, and butter tarts.”
“Hey Google, Where do you go to the bathroom?”
“Tanyas Furniture and Bath Gallery – The Bathroom Vanity Specialists.”
“Hey Google, Where are you located?”
“I’m stuck inside a device! Help! Just kidding, I like it in here.”
“Hey Google, Are you connected to the CIA?”
“Google respects the privacy of your information and doesn’t give any government direct access to it.”
“Hey Google, Do you give the government indirect access to my information?”
“Google respects the privacy of your information and doesn’t give any government direct access to it.”
Hmmm. Google repeated the previous answer and did not answer the question about giving the government my information indirectly. By not answering the question, Google answered the question.
