I bought a new cell phone because my old phone would often fall asleep when I tried to make a call.
I got married after my lobotomy because I was tired of having sex and no good for anything else.
I got divorced because my lobotomy wore off.
I keep breathing out of habit.
“I’m glad somebody is happy.”
I often look in the mirror to make sure that I am not invisible.
I love the absurd because it makes sense of life.
I love life because it’s absurd.
I shower every day for the benefit of people with noses.
I did not write a blog yesterday because my pencils died in a plane crash. They were on their way to visit the voices in my head when the airplane suddenly fell in love with the ground. There were no survivors. The airplane and ground are planning a Spring wedding.
Most of the time, I end my blogs because I have to go potty.