Note: The following hodgepodge contains letters from the English alphabet.
Every time I go to the bathroom, I give thanks for the Law of Gravity.
I can tell when something is true. If it agrees with my beliefs, then it is true. It is not true if it does not agree with my beliefs.
I had no disease, which is common amongst hypochondriacs. I cured myself with duct tape and baking soda. I dusted my body with baking soda and wrapped myself with duct tape.
Side effects? Restricted body movements and a desire to date mummies.
How come the clowns do not wear their red noses and makeup in the House of Commons?
“Oh, it’s just a phase I’m going through,” said the Moon when asked about its dark side.
The first line of Crappy Novel by Def A. Cation:
He was the butt of a joke and soon developed hemorrhoids.
(Somewhere, Def A. Cation is a famous author. He is best known for publishing his novels on toilet paper.)
Fools rush in where angels cannot go because the angels are not vaccinated.
“How do I manage my anxiety with duct tape and baking soda?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why the title of this blog?”
“I wanted an attention grabber.”
“No advice on how to manage anxiety with duct tape and baking soda?”
“Okay. Try dusting yourself with duct tape and wrapping yourself with baking soda.”
“How will that help?”
“You’ll get so frustrated trying to do so that you will forget about your anxiety.”